I still miss you , very much . 

I would be lying if I say I'm over you .

You probably won't even see this , cause I know you don't bother going to my profile and see my tweets and stuff , but I still keep myself updated about you . Everything was so fast , one moment we're good , next moment it was over . Before I even knew it , I've fallen deep for you , and yet , you could walk away as if it meant nothing to you , which it probably doesn't meant anything to you . We could still be friends , and yet , are we ? I miss waiting for you to reach home and bath before I sleep , texting you despite you taking long to reply , I don't mind the wait , infact , if makes me look forward to your replies . I don't mind waiting for you to end school so we could go home together , I don't feel bored , but instead I feel happy and excited that I could meet you , even though I don't talk much like you , I don't need to talk to feel connected to you , I just feel happy looking at you .. I love listening to you talk about your day , what happened an what you did , it's just so cute . Miss hanging out with you on school , not giving a shit about others . Remember I said , I was waiting for the right one to fall back on, I didn't realize you're the one that I was referring to , until you left .. It hurts so damn bad , what if I've said no, would things be different , would be still be together ? I miss our late night meetups, where you would talk and update me , and I would just stare and feel how you feel , I miss you , I miss your presence , I miss your morning texts , I miss our morning meetups to go school , I miss that moment where you rested your head on my shoulder , where I would snuggle up to you , where we share the same feeling we had for each other ( or so I thought ) , the feeling I had when I first held your hands , the fighting back of the urge to tell you how perfect you're to me . The kiss you gave , the texts you send , you asked  me not to hold back and I didn't . Guess who fell too deep into that black hole called feelings? Me . 

In the end , I'm all hurt and thrown aside and you're there , as if nothing happened . Maybe I'm just another passerby in your life . 

 I planned everything you wanted to do , but I didn't ever got a chance to do those with you, hope someone would do those things for you .. I remember every word you said , I keep on replaying those words in my head everyday , it's killing me and I don't know how to stop it . 

I love you , yes , I've said it , I love you . Still do , will do , and I don't know how long do I need to take to forget you : tell me how you do it so easily , how to not feel so easily .. 

I feel happy when I'm around you . I'm excited whenever I meet you in the morning or when in school . You told me you had feelings for me , but sometimes I just don't feel it . I really really do like you . Sigh. FML . 

Friday marks the official ending of OIP Hubei 2013. It was a day of mixed feeling, felt happy that we're finally done with the module as well as the interview , and felt sad that it marks the end of our official meet-ups. I could still remember Day 0 of OIP trip so badly . Atieqah , Jonathan and I went to the airport to stay overnight , and we're like a nuisance there, singing out loud in public , doing all sort of crazy stuff , and when the rest finally arrive at 5.30am , we're all excited and hyped up to go on the trip! boarded the plane @ 8am reach the hotel at approx 1-2am the next day , due to some flight delay. HAHA, it was fun on the way to the hotel though , Ohana was singing and talking throughout the whole night and we only slept for 30 minutes . Can't believe it's been a month since we return . I'm really grateful that we bonded more and I knew more people better , and oh yea, ohana have expanded ( hafeez and daniel ). Words can't express how much I miss the trip so .. yea... pictures will do just fine .

 My Bestman and Claire's Bridesmaid :)

 

 Such a coincidence that the Ohana guys wore blue and the girls wore white , Fated or what ? guess we're really telepathic :'D

OIP HUBEI 2013 group , not full strength though :(

FUCK YES . Ngee Ann having NP50 holiday , but I thought they had it once already? Hmm . Anyway , two more days till school reopens , and yes , I'm in a different class again x.c . Almost all the Ohana are in the same class , I'm so sad la .. Sigh. What to do . Hah.. On a brighter note , I have Wani , Saleha in the same class ah .YEA , I got break buddy!  Missing China and everything so much now .

 

It's kinda funny how people of different personality can come together and foster a bond so strong love'em 

 

and the exco's :)

You know sometimes where you just have this " I'm sad but I don't know why feeling? " I'm kinds having it now . I'm not that emo kind of person but I just tend to overthink once in a blue moon , which would end up with me being real sad , like down to the bottom of fucking Mount Everest . I know I don't trust people that much , therefore sometimes I feel real bad when people put their complete trust in me , but I just couldn't find the courage to put my trust I'm them .am I just too weak or too broken to do so? I always ask myself if friends or what last but I would often give up thinking about it , and just try to hold on to whatever I have now . There're certain people whom I would never ever want to lose , ever . But then again , it's only my feeling , my thought . I hate that sometimes , just sometimes , I feel like I'm dispensable , low importance.  Even though I might not be . Fuck insecurities . Focus on the present , focus on the present .. Focus .. Smoke it away 

Never thought I would meet those awesome crazy people in my Poly life , but well , I'm glad we found each other .Ohanaaa, my banana ..

Went for OIP trip with them and Damnn! It was crazy, late night movies , snuggling under the blankets , laughing at the stupid things we did and watching movies till the wee hour before finally falling asleep on one another. Breakfast, lunch , dinner , we're practically doing everything together . :')  HAHAH , I miss all that. It was indeed a well spent 18 days with you guys .